Minions of the Watch

Tainted Innocence · Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:27 pm Post subject:

your signature made me laugh... SOOOO hard.

_________________
Lies,the human core is lies.

Dante · Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:04 pm Post subject:

GGGHAHAHA!
IE is the only thing that can beat Chuck Norris! (Only because Chuck's only 1 guy, and can't growl)
_________________
c. 5502 BE (6 BC) - Jesus of Nazareth was born. --~?~---

The Sexiest Metalhead · Setian Ruler Joined: 05 Jan 2008 Posts: 545

Dante · Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 7:54 am Post subject:

I bet Chuck Norris has a picture of Iced Earth in his valet!
_________________
c. 5502 BE (6 BC) - Jesus of Nazareth was born. --~?~---

TheGunslinger · Human Joined: 24 Jul 2008 Posts: 11 Location: Germany

Kids have posters of Chuck Norris hanging above their beds...
Chuck Norris has posters of Iced Earth hanging above his^^
_________________
When Matt Barlow sings, Chuck Norris is moved to tears of joy!

Aggelos Poneros · Moderator Joined: 12 Jan 2008 Posts: 287 Location: Croatia

LOL.
_________________
The human race will bleed, they will serve my need.

Dante · Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 3:09 pm Post subject:

TheVileMessiah · Stormrider Joined: 29 Jun 2008 Posts: 92

Everyone knows that Chuck Norris round housed kicked Gerald Way, there was such a mighty meeting of both kick assery and teenage faggotry the resulting blow inversed Gerald Way, creating a negative image that was so powerful that Chuck Norris knew that the design could be forced to do evil in the wrong emo hands. He went back in time and hid the image, the design for the greatest metal singer to ever be, in the wilderness that would become Salt Lake City.

10,000 year go by....the negative image first becomes aware of it's surroundings, it's prison under the Earth, then he became aware of itself. So it came to sentience, and through frequencies unknown to man, he channeled matter into his own fleshless being. And so he grows stronger as the years past, building momentum to the day he shall be released.

Mormon members in the late 60's decide they have found the perfect site for a new place of Worship, the place is clear and beautiful. Fruits grow from the trees healthy and unplucked, but strangely there are no sounds here. The place's quit is argued as it's calming tranquility of God. But even the ignorant Mormons sense something powerful here, something nearly infinite in mind and rnage yet trapped in a finite physical space. Something so unbelievably beautifully that it could destroy there faith in the sheer glory of it, bowing to this new thing if it so appeared. Some thought of this place's aura in this term, consciously and unconsciously, but they spoke nothing of it.

So the foundations were laid and the church was built, and only a few feet from under it's basement cement foundation laid the now aware but nameless being. Stirring from it's ancient Slumber.

So on the first Sunday, they had service and they prayed before the paintings of Joseph Smith and listened to the words of Preacher, the man they considered having a higher communication with God, even though he was just like them physically and mentally. And so they sang there half-assed poetry hymns, singing loudly but without passion. And so they had communion and should have ended there, but it was not to be.

An Earthquake shock the very foundations of the building, there would never be reports of an Earthquake in that area, but the Mormons of the that congratulation certainly felt the tremors rip through the building. Felt the foundation crack underneath there best shoes. Then they felt something unexperienced in there lifetime, something all would remember till there deathbeds.

They witnessed in that crumpling structure, with the plaster and wood raining down upon them, the rising of the nameless beast. A being so metal that it's form was incoherent to the eye. It was as if the mouth of God had opened and brilliant light was drowning the universe, chocking it with madness, crushing it with beauty. Some fled, some fell over dead, other ran into the light screaming a name in frightful union, a name so common, yet spoken with such hallowed reverence that it seemed to be the name of some lost Demi-God.

Matt they chanted before being consumed by the infinite being, Matt...Matt....Matt....

And so when the Church had emptied the being was left with a choose, live an infinite life knowing among all the stars, or downgrading itself to a mortal man to live an finite among humans and their wickedness. In almost choose the first, before somehow feeling the presence of child, far away, but it's Metalness was so powerful that the being traveled silently and instantly and to witness what it was.

It was a tiny infant named Jon Schaffer, and in that moment, it made it's choice....
_________________
Christ, it's nothing Personal.